Monday, 26 December 2016
Sunday, 18 December 2016
Mom Raz 1926-2016
Pakinson''s Wake Corporation would like to print a correction regarding the result of the arm wrestle between the late Mom Raz and my brother " The Therapist". The corporation would like to sincerely apologize for any embarrassment the mistake may have caused. Off the record this blogger would like to add "Hell hath no fury like a therapist spurned." I'm not sure if I nicked the ego or the superego Regardless, What kind of grown man calls the press to make a correction to the results of a private family event depriving his 90 year old mother post-humously of one of the final victories of her l remaining days..
Any resemblance of this blog entry to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely intentional. Most of it is absolutely true. Some events could have happened, with the balance being Trumped up BS.. You should be aware that the autor is on certain Parkinson's medications whose main side effect is extremely vivid dreams. author may wake up from said vivid dreams not sure if he he was simply mentally rehashing old memories, or dreaming up noveau events, a.k.a. crafting a new blog entry.
She was willing to do just about anything for her family -- and her family themselves were not immune to her schemes of fraud and deception. Mom Raz presided over one of longest-runnng "pay-fo-play" favorite son schemes ever. It is said that even Ponzi master Bernie Madoff marvelled at how Mom Raz kept this scheme alive decade after decade.
This game netted her hundreds of orchids, gettaways at vacation properties all over BC, leaving players so wound up so tight, that they would get on the next flight for the tiara clad matriarch if summoned. In a bedside testimony to this blogger Mom Raz asserted. that the scheme was to acheieve the ultimate goal of family unity. I think she achieved this as in her final few years of need every single boy in the family was there to support her when needed. I am so proud of all of them for that. Her legacy will certainly be at risk if the family cannot substantiate this claim.
Not all of her scams were conducted on the scale of the favourite son scam.
One of her most successful is the timeless Cry Wolf scam. This is illustrated by the above photo an obviously ailing Mom Raz. Her boys were contacted and told that Mom was ailing an it would be a good idea to come out "just in case". A you can see from the photo Mom managed to pull through thanks to concentrated dose of "son therapy
Not even her daughter-in-law's could escape her deception. Whenever asked by a son for a recipe from the Mom Raz Classic Collection, she would. routinely copy it out longhand carefully leaving out a single, though crucial (knowing her son would use it in a culinary disaster - while the daughter-in-law would bask in victory of her own recipe). Her explanation? "I did it for my daughter-in-laws" you know to take the pressure off. You know, to level the playing field."Again, this seems to be yet another scam that has all the hallmark of a Mom Raz scam - The ultimate benefciaries was her family.
Any resemblance of this blog entry to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely intentional. Most of it is absolutely true. Some events could have happened, with the balance being Trumped up BS.. You should be aware that the autor is on certain Parkinson's medications whose main side effect is extremely vivid dreams. author may wake up from said vivid dreams not sure if he he was simply mentally rehashing old memories, or dreaming up noveau events, a.k.a. crafting a new blog entry.
My writing regularly elicits a wild and wholly range of responses. Some critics suggest that I have single-handedly created a new genre called NON-FACTion. While others suggest that the genre might be more aptly referred to as "Pulp Fiction", because that is what the plot looks like after I get a hold of it. A more credible journalist proclaimed, "I have seen the future of "fake news" and it's name is Blair Rasmussen". Yet another offered: Life in Parkinsons Wake: More hyperbole than a Trump rally.
Having read that, you be surprised to hear that I received countless requests from well-intentioned readers pleading with me to find a ghostwriter to write the entry honouring my late mother, m a.k.a. Mom Raz. Heeding their concerns I penned countless drafts most of them in a more eulogistic, obituarial tone, it's just not me. It's just that, you know, while the words were as incisive, as hard-hitting as my usual fare. I just didn't feel the Seussian dopamine rush that my body craves. It was like the time I went upstairs to put on a pair of shorts - but I mistakenly put on a pair of my wife's capris. You know they were close. They felt like shorts. They looked like shorts. But there was just something not right.
I pondered my dilemma. The one person really mattered was not here. Of course, when I had to do was to think like mom. Then it came to me, "Mom would never make me wear capris! Mom might make me wear a pair of thick, extremely feminine mauve cords, but never capris. (I think they had been my sisters. Mom. said that mens and womans were the same and nobody would know - but of course the boys did and and shouted down the hall that they could see my panty lines. I believe that Mom would want me to write in my natural voice MY voice and in the style that has helped me cope with Parkinson's all these years.
I pondered my dilemma. The one person really mattered was not here. Of course, when I had to do was to think like mom. Then it came to me, "Mom would never make me wear capris! Mom might make me wear a pair of thick, extremely feminine mauve cords, but never capris. (I think they had been my sisters. Mom. said that mens and womans were the same and nobody would know - but of course the boys did and and shouted down the hall that they could see my panty lines. I believe that Mom would want me to write in my natural voice MY voice and in the style that has helped me cope with Parkinson's all these years.
While it would be a stretch to say my mother and I shared the same sense of humour, I do know for sure that she saw the value in my blog. She did not necessarily always appreciate the content but she most definitely had an appreciation for what my blog represented: my conscious decision to attack Parkinsons proactively, actively, and always, with a smile. She understood that my nonsensical commentary on the neurological crap that made no sense to me was a crucial component of the way I coped with my disease.
Indeed, Mom always respected my commitment to seek the truth with any of the storylines we have run. so I have no doubt that she would have accepted the inherent risk of disturbing some skeletons that might come with putting her name in the limelight again.
Mom Raz, who possessed a tremendous ecapacity for love, sacrifice and devotion to family, also had an evil, nefarious, dark mischevious side.
She was willing to do just about anything for her family -- and her family themselves were not immune to her schemes of fraud and deception. Mom Raz presided over one of longest-runnng "pay-fo-play" favorite son schemes ever. It is said that even Ponzi master Bernie Madoff marvelled at how Mom Raz kept this scheme alive decade after decade.
 |
| Mom inflects yet another beating on the social work profession taking down the therapist. |
Not all of her scams were conducted on the scale of the favourite son scam.
One of her most successful is the timeless Cry Wolf scam. This is illustrated by the above photo an obviously ailing Mom Raz. Her boys were contacted and told that Mom was ailing an it would be a good idea to come out "just in case". A you can see from the photo Mom managed to pull through thanks to concentrated dose of "son therapy
Looking forward, I cannot replace my mom. However, I do need someone to take up some of her duties. I haven't settled on a job title yet - but you can count on it reflecting the duties of the following: spiritual Guide, Fan Club President, Son Whisperer. your specific duties may include some or all of the following tasks: you will react to a new blog entry (regardless of how trashy it maybe) as if it is prize-worthy, and that I am his second coming of Hemingway. You agree to react to any accomplishments I may communicate to you, as if I have split the atom, or invented Penicillin. Finally, you will posess an Amazing Kreskin-like ability to read me like a cheap paperback.
In Part 1 You have seen the worst some might say the best) of Mom Raz. I figure , that in order to appreciate the light, you need to experience the darkness. In part Two, I will describe the incredible legacy my mom has left me
Coming up:Part 2 "The Gift"
Saturday, 3 September 2016
Qs For The Blogger
Look for new post shortly. Very sad to say that my mom has passed away. So a change of topic. I hope to tell you a bit about her this weekend.
Here at Parkinson's Wake Corp. our fan mail comes from across the globe. We like to do our best to make everyone feel welcome here even if their leaders have recently invaded a sovereign nation, tested a nuke, or builds a beaver lodge along their southern border "to keep those damned Yanks out" (They're not sending us their best) Regardless of your nationality, Parkinson's a bitch, so simmer down! Fear not, we we'll always share.1
So, a hearty "Welcome fellow global degenerates! Our latest visitors hail from: Russia: Как дела. мои товарищи глобальные выродки ?, France: Comment allez-vous. mes dégénérés mondiaux collègues ?, Serbia: Ako sa máš. moji kolegovia globálne degeneruje ?, and finally, Newfoundland: "Ow's she cuttin', me global degenerate"
Our mail bag is just a burstin' so let's get a few out of the way...
Q Do you have any hobbies?
Jackie M
Whitehorse
A I sure do.My main hobby Weebling is an activity developed in-house here at Parkinsons Wake. Originally developed as an exercise targeting the balance issues inevitable for anyone with Parkinson's. Weebling was devrloped from a unique blend of traditional Eastern mind/body thought and modern Western Bullshit..A Weeble session may at times seem like Pilates, other times like yoga, yet other timesa like Mindfullness Meditation
Blair, I have heard rumour has it that you Cannucks are building a massive beaver lodge along the 49th to "keep those damned yanks out
Here at Parkinson's Wake Corp. our fan mail comes from across the globe. We like to do our best to make everyone feel welcome here even if their leaders have recently invaded a sovereign nation, tested a nuke, or builds a beaver lodge along their southern border "to keep those damned Yanks out" (They're not sending us their best) Regardless of your nationality, Parkinson's a bitch, so simmer down! Fear not, we we'll always share.1
So, a hearty "Welcome fellow global degenerates! Our latest visitors hail from: Russia: Как дела. мои товарищи глобальные выродки ?, France: Comment allez-vous. mes dégénérés mondiaux collègues ?, Serbia: Ako sa máš. moji kolegovia globálne degeneruje ?, and finally, Newfoundland: "Ow's she cuttin', me global degenerate"
Our mail bag is just a burstin' so let's get a few out of the way...
Q Do you have any hobbies?
Jackie M
Whitehorse
 |
| "I am a weeble weeebles do not fall down" Blair centers himself Holds his pee And chants the Weeble Mantra |
Blair, I have heard rumour has it that you Cannucks are building a massive beaver lodge along the 49th to "keep those damned yanks out
Well, it doesn't seem that you guys have been sendding us your best. And you know what, you guys are going to pay for it
Despite having no Greek heritage whatsoever, and taking advantage of my stellar manual dexterity I have plunged head-first into competitive. Greek Dish Smashing reaching the pinnacle of the sport by crushing the sports Holy Grail, the "Corel Challenge with ease. I would love to compete at the Para Games - but alas, neurodegenerates have yet to be classified. It’s like we are just too good at what we do. Lose a single limb and you are golden. Wheelchair sports, basketball, sledge hockey, the opportunities are endless. Lose twenty million brain cells, and you are still stuck competing against the "Generates".
Lest you think I am a one trick pony, you should know that I also excel in gymnastics, specifically tumbling..One might say that I ocasionally wobble like a weeblr - but unlike the weeble, I do fall down My dismounts are legendary. I nail the landing. every time. If you want to see sometthing eally exciting watching as are combined to sports of Greek Dish Smashing and tumbling.
I have also been dabbling in Cognitive Decline Anxiety Management. If there's any time remaining after' bustin' up the kitchen', I can usually devote it to this pastime. It's a great way to wind up at the end of the day
Our first letter, comes from a regular contributor, Gifford Falway. Giff is known as somewhat of a loose canon around these parts.. But we figure that he would be more dangerous if we didn't give him his space to vent. Despite bring on the payroll, He will occasionally nip and will not hesitate to bite even the hand that feeds him. Giff does not suffer fools gladly, so YOU best careful!
Q I've just finished reading your latest post previewing your brothers kayak trek to Alaska. As usual your brevity is unmatched Why were you such an ass to your brother? So what if he cut you for stitches. That was a half century ago. Grow up and get over it. I thought that your treatment of social workers in general and your brother in particular was appallingly unfair. What have you got against social workers?
- Gifford Falway -
A Gifford, my criticism was not of social workers in general nor any social work professors in particular. It was more a pragmatic concern that the harrowing life of a social worker and specifically the "pjs till noon” routine of a professor on sabbatical might not be the best preparation to ready oneself for a colossally epic undertaking such as "Paddle For Parkinson's".
Giff, I think you'll agree that there are decidedly less spills and thrills in the daily life of a social work professor than their more dashing colleagues in Archaeology who - when they are not marking term papers seem to spend most of their spare time racing through streets of Bangkok with a Capuchin on their shoulder evading massive rolling stainless steel balls, seeking a grail of some sort. It is a fact that the closest thing to harrowing in the daily grind of a social worker, might be the odd bruise to the ego, superficial lacerations to the superego, not to mention the risks of exposing the id to perilous paper cuts in The copy room.
The legendary South Pole explorer Earnest Shackleton advertised for the following qualities.
"Men wanted for hazardous journey. Low wages, bitter cold, long hours of complete darkness. Safe return doubtful. Honour and recognition in event of success. Doesn’t sound much like a social worker does it?.
Q Blair, you seem to like the number three, as when you list things or ideas you usually do it in groups of three. Why is that? Is there something special about the number three?
A It's called the Rule of Three", or The Magic of three. It just seems right, doesn't it? As I understand, it all comes down to the way we humans process information. We have become proficient at pattern recognition by necessity, and three is the smallest number of elements required to create a pattern. Google It.
Q. Blair, do you have any peculiar habits, or oddities that your readers might find interesting?
A When at Starbucks I feel a tremendous compulsion to align the sippy hole with the Starbucks logo. My wife thinks its odd, but frankly to me it it just a good safety precaution. The visual of the logo is a god reference point to know where exactly the hot liquid is pouring out.
I am betting that I share this next “oddity” with at least a few of you. While waiting for a flight I will typically wait at an adjacent gate, For example if I am travelling to Winnipeg in January, I will typically wait at the nearby gate of a more attractive destination - like Hamilton, or Gander,
For me, holidays are all about anonymity,, and everyone knows that those "chirpy" Manitobans didn't get their "Friendly Manitoba" license plates by respecting personal space.
Q.Blair, what book is on your bedside table right now?
A It is”The Gifts Of Imperfection. In all honesty, I can’t say I’m “reading” it. My style of literary consumption is more like the way you read your cell phone contract.I scan for headings, exclamation points, and my name. In my estimation, this book is a “plant”, a book that is subtly left out - generally for the betterment of your spouse. The genre is usually that annoying class of books referred to as “self help” blended with a little DIY (or shall I say “do it himself” It is a rudimentary form of marital communication used when one would prefer not to present the issue face to face, or when an issue has been presented previously - but the desired solution has not taken root.
Initially I gave it my all - I dove headfirst into the book - then called it quits. I just couldn’t relate. The book simply did not “speak to me. I then had an epiphany - if not me? then who? Could this be a confessional? Maybe she was trying to tell me that she wasn’t the Hope Diamond, as she had always thought we thought? That the bill of goods dating more than a decade ago had some discrepancies. Most notably, was she telling me that despite this, that if the book was to be believed - that I ultimately maybe the receptor of riches beyond my wildest dreams.
Q. Hey Blair- why to you you continue to perpetuate this myth of this big corporation, this
delusion that you are anything but a solitary fellow posting blog entries in his underwear.
A That's just patently false. I sometimes change things up and post in my PJs.You take that back or you will be hearing from Zeus in Legal.Oops, sorry, there I go again I suppose that IF this was a delusion, it might stem from my fascination with the Circus full of smoke and mirors that the modern day web is. . Where al it seems to take is a dearth of dopamine, and Ok, so I give you that we are not apple - but how do you know that we don't have a Foosball table in the cafeteria that my employees don't ride around the SW Calgary campus on Segways, and how can you be absolutely sure that if I told you that the Corporations spending on employee wellness is not the highest in it's sector?(Totally fictitious Corporations whose founders should be monitored for cognitive decline) Which begs the question, how do you know I post in mu underwear. Which days? Bruins, or the Leafs on my Pyjamas?
Mr Rasmussen
Q Last year you chronicled your trials and tribulations you had with Deep Brain Stimulation - or as you seem fond of putting it, “DBS L1ight - most of the benefits of DBS, without any pesky hardware left behind, and no drain on the power grid.Where are you in the surgical process?\alsaddl
A I am just getting ready to climb back into the surgical saddle, having just passed the "cognitive test", As m dear Mother puts it, the"marble test".I have been deemed to have enough marbles remaining to get another crack at DBS. You are right,smartass, that should be definitive confirmation that they do not/ read my blog.
Bon Creed
Calgary
Q Blair, I saw a donation on your brothers site made “In memory of Blair Rasmussen. Was that a joke?,.
A To this day. we have not found out who the fellow is. I thought it was hilarious. I was going to make our donation in memory of him. But my editor said it would be in poor taste. What ever happened to “an eye for an eye” You know what my first thought was? Am I a big enough fish that someone has pre-written my obituary? If not, I need to get on that. Oops! Reminder that dark humour has been shown to be one of the earliest signs of dementia!
1) In fact all of all of Blair's accumulated knowledge is in the public domain.including the vast 16gb of possibly malignant , most certainly questionable humour in his bloated Blogospheric Inflatuius. (the area of your brain where your NON- sense of humour is said to reside.He is currently mired deep down an inflatius tranpslant list - finding few possible donors even remotely silly enough to be compatible
Despite having no Greek heritage whatsoever, and taking advantage of my stellar manual dexterity I have plunged head-first into competitive. Greek Dish Smashing reaching the pinnacle of the sport by crushing the sports Holy Grail, the "Corel Challenge with ease. I would love to compete at the Para Games - but alas, neurodegenerates have yet to be classified. It’s like we are just too good at what we do. Lose a single limb and you are golden. Wheelchair sports, basketball, sledge hockey, the opportunities are endless. Lose twenty million brain cells, and you are still stuck competing against the "Generates".
Lest you think I am a one trick pony, you should know that I also excel in gymnastics, specifically tumbling..One might say that I ocasionally wobble like a weeblr - but unlike the weeble, I do fall down My dismounts are legendary. I nail the landing. every time. If you want to see sometthing eally exciting watching as are combined to sports of Greek Dish Smashing and tumbling.
I have also been dabbling in Cognitive Decline Anxiety Management. If there's any time remaining after' bustin' up the kitchen', I can usually devote it to this pastime. It's a great way to wind up at the end of the day
Our first letter, comes from a regular contributor, Gifford Falway. Giff is known as somewhat of a loose canon around these parts.. But we figure that he would be more dangerous if we didn't give him his space to vent. Despite bring on the payroll, He will occasionally nip and will not hesitate to bite even the hand that feeds him. Giff does not suffer fools gladly, so YOU best careful!
Q I've just finished reading your latest post previewing your brothers kayak trek to Alaska. As usual your brevity is unmatched Why were you such an ass to your brother? So what if he cut you for stitches. That was a half century ago. Grow up and get over it. I thought that your treatment of social workers in general and your brother in particular was appallingly unfair. What have you got against social workers?
- Gifford Falway -
A Gifford, my criticism was not of social workers in general nor any social work professors in particular. It was more a pragmatic concern that the harrowing life of a social worker and specifically the "pjs till noon” routine of a professor on sabbatical might not be the best preparation to ready oneself for a colossally epic undertaking such as "Paddle For Parkinson's".
Giff, I think you'll agree that there are decidedly less spills and thrills in the daily life of a social work professor than their more dashing colleagues in Archaeology who - when they are not marking term papers seem to spend most of their spare time racing through streets of Bangkok with a Capuchin on their shoulder evading massive rolling stainless steel balls, seeking a grail of some sort. It is a fact that the closest thing to harrowing in the daily grind of a social worker, might be the odd bruise to the ego, superficial lacerations to the superego, not to mention the risks of exposing the id to perilous paper cuts in The copy room.
The legendary South Pole explorer Earnest Shackleton advertised for the following qualities.
"Men wanted for hazardous journey. Low wages, bitter cold, long hours of complete darkness. Safe return doubtful. Honour and recognition in event of success. Doesn’t sound much like a social worker does it?.
Q Blair, you seem to like the number three, as when you list things or ideas you usually do it in groups of three. Why is that? Is there something special about the number three?
A It's called the Rule of Three", or The Magic of three. It just seems right, doesn't it? As I understand, it all comes down to the way we humans process information. We have become proficient at pattern recognition by necessity, and three is the smallest number of elements required to create a pattern. Google It.
A When at Starbucks I feel a tremendous compulsion to align the sippy hole with the Starbucks logo. My wife thinks its odd, but frankly to me it it just a good safety precaution. The visual of the logo is a god reference point to know where exactly the hot liquid is pouring out.
I am betting that I share this next “oddity” with at least a few of you. While waiting for a flight I will typically wait at an adjacent gate, For example if I am travelling to Winnipeg in January, I will typically wait at the nearby gate of a more attractive destination - like Hamilton, or Gander,
For me, holidays are all about anonymity,, and everyone knows that those "chirpy" Manitobans didn't get their "Friendly Manitoba" license plates by respecting personal space.
Q.Blair, what book is on your bedside table right now?
A It is”The Gifts Of Imperfection. In all honesty, I can’t say I’m “reading” it. My style of literary consumption is more like the way you read your cell phone contract.I scan for headings, exclamation points, and my name. In my estimation, this book is a “plant”, a book that is subtly left out - generally for the betterment of your spouse. The genre is usually that annoying class of books referred to as “self help” blended with a little DIY (or shall I say “do it himself” It is a rudimentary form of marital communication used when one would prefer not to present the issue face to face, or when an issue has been presented previously - but the desired solution has not taken root.
Initially I gave it my all - I dove headfirst into the book - then called it quits. I just couldn’t relate. The book simply did not “speak to me. I then had an epiphany - if not me? then who? Could this be a confessional? Maybe she was trying to tell me that she wasn’t the Hope Diamond, as she had always thought we thought? That the bill of goods dating more than a decade ago had some discrepancies. Most notably, was she telling me that despite this, that if the book was to be believed - that I ultimately maybe the receptor of riches beyond my wildest dreams.
Q. Hey Blair- why to you you continue to perpetuate this myth of this big corporation, this
delusion that you are anything but a solitary fellow posting blog entries in his underwear.
A That's just patently false. I sometimes change things up and post in my PJs.You take that back or you will be hearing from Zeus in Legal.Oops, sorry, there I go again I suppose that IF this was a delusion, it might stem from my fascination with the Circus full of smoke and mirors that the modern day web is. . Where al it seems to take is a dearth of dopamine, and Ok, so I give you that we are not apple - but how do you know that we don't have a Foosball table in the cafeteria that my employees don't ride around the SW Calgary campus on Segways, and how can you be absolutely sure that if I told you that the Corporations spending on employee wellness is not the highest in it's sector?(Totally fictitious Corporations whose founders should be monitored for cognitive decline) Which begs the question, how do you know I post in mu underwear. Which days? Bruins, or the Leafs on my Pyjamas?
Mr Rasmussen
Q Last year you chronicled your trials and tribulations you had with Deep Brain Stimulation - or as you seem fond of putting it, “DBS L1ight - most of the benefits of DBS, without any pesky hardware left behind, and no drain on the power grid.Where are you in the surgical process?\alsaddl
A I am just getting ready to climb back into the surgical saddle, having just passed the "cognitive test", As m dear Mother puts it, the"marble test".I have been deemed to have enough marbles remaining to get another crack at DBS. You are right,smartass, that should be definitive confirmation that they do not/ read my blog.
Bon Creed
Calgary
Q Blair, I saw a donation on your brothers site made “In memory of Blair Rasmussen. Was that a joke?,.
A To this day. we have not found out who the fellow is. I thought it was hilarious. I was going to make our donation in memory of him. But my editor said it would be in poor taste. What ever happened to “an eye for an eye” You know what my first thought was? Am I a big enough fish that someone has pre-written my obituary? If not, I need to get on that. Oops! Reminder that dark humour has been shown to be one of the earliest signs of dementia!
1) In fact all of all of Blair's accumulated knowledge is in the public domain.including the vast 16gb of possibly malignant , most certainly questionable humour in his bloated Blogospheric Inflatuius. (the area of your brain where your NON- sense of humour is said to reside.He is currently mired deep down an inflatius tranpslant list - finding few possible donors even remotely silly enough to be compatible
Thursday, 7 July 2016
Paddle For Parkinson's Update
Sorry guys, my hard drive passed into the next life. Hoping to get something up tomorrow, holiday Mon, or Tues
Tr,ip Update:
 |
| Doc Hits a Rough Patch |
July 5, Day of errands in Prince Rupert - maps, supplies, course reviews. Launch next leg tomorrow.
July 4, 40 Km today, saw tonnes of eagles and arrived in Prince Rupert. Tomorrow will pick up food drop and Wednesday start our last leg to Alaska. Big thanks for WestJet for help with Rick Rasmussen's flight and Lexie for the PR hospitality..
July 3, 30 Km today in wind, rain, fog and a few minutes of sun. Camping on McMicking Island. 40 Km south of Prince Rupert.
July 2, High winds in Hecate Strait today so taking a weather day.
July 1, Happy Canada Day! 30 Km today to almost finish off the chanenel. Rain, wind and waves. Likely in Prince Rupert on Monday.
June 30, Another 30 Km up Grenville Channel (known as the "ditch"). No whales today. Hoping to be in Prince Rupert by Sunday.
June 29, 21 Km today up Grenville Channel. Made friends with an Orca whale.
June 28, After 7 hrs and 34 Km, we are camping at the south entrance to Grenville Channel. Sunny day.
June 27, Up at 3:15 am and on the water by 4:45.Covered 25 Km in 5.5 hrs. Camping at top of Princess Royal Island.
June 26, Down day in Butedale. Population: 1. Rest day and opportunity to repair dry suit.
June 25, 27 Km further up Graham Reach today. Misty rain all day.
June 24, Kayaked 45 North of Klemtu. Camping at Graham Reach. No whales today.
June 23, After 7 hours of paddling, we covered 45 Km. Camping in Klemtu and attending a community dinner.
June 22, 6.5 hrs paddling. Covered 36 Km. Rain, fog, but no wind. Camping at Blair Inlet at mouth of Seaforth Channel. Still raining.
June 20 and 21, Two days in Shearwater/Bella Bella to retrieve next box of supplies and repair our Garmin. Thanks to the Shearwater Lodge, MEC and Pacific Coastal for their help. On the water again June 22.
June 19, Made it to Bella Bella, 25 Kms down today. Staying at a fishing lodge for a day off after 12 days out. Shower, laundry, beer and pizza (and WiFi)
June 18, Camping at entrance to Lama Passage. 28 Km today. Whales in distance. Plan for Bella Bella tomorrow. Monday off. Yea.
June 17, Beautiful day. Kayaked 45 km in about 7.5 hours. Camping 5 Km north of Namu. Big Day. Dolphins, cannery ghost town, Heitsuk NGO camp. Finished on Cclamshell beach.
June 16, late start to day. Paddled 31 Km today. Camping at Fish Egg Inlet, just south of Blair Island :-). Rained all night and all day. Tomorrow up Fitz Hough Sound.
June 15 - Another 20 K today. Camping on open beach. Next up is Fitz Hough Sound. Bye to the ocean for now.
June 14 - up at 3:45. Paddled for 4.5 hour. We are all the way around Cape Caution. She was kind to us. Camping at Red Sand Beach.
June 13 - up at 3:45 am. Paddled 20K of exposed coast. Camping at north end of Burnett Bay
June 12 - Another day of winds so another day at Skull Cove; back on the water tomorrow; fish plentiful
June 11 - Spending day at Skull Cove, winds high so day of rest
June 10 - Landed in Skull Cove. On Track. Good Day. Escort by John and Matt ending. Big thanks for support across the Channel
June 9 - landed at Shelter Bay on Mainland - sunny, smooth crossing in 4 hours
June 8 2016 - Launch from Port Hardy - landed at God's Pocket, Hurst Island
Paddle For Parkinson's
Trip Update:
July 6, Paddled west 22 Km from Rupert into Chatham Sound on a beautiful morning and camping on a white sand beach on Lucy Island.
July 5, Day of errands in Prince Rupert - maps, supplies, course reviews. Launch next leg tomorrow.
July 4, 40 Km today, saw tonnes of eagles and arrived in Prince Rupert. Tomorrow will pick up food drop and Wednesday start our last leg to Alaska. Big thanks for WestJet for help with Rick Rasmussen's flight and Lexie for the PR hospitality..
July 3, 30 Km today in wind, rain, fog and a few minutes of sun. Camping on McMicking Island. 40 Km south of Prince Rupert.
July 2, High winds in Hecate Strait today so taking a weather day.
July 1, Happy Canada Day! 30 Km today to almost finish off the chanenel. Rain, wind and waves. Likely in Prince Rupert on Monday.
June 30, Another 30 Km up Grenville Channel (known as the "ditch"). No whales today. Hoping to be in Prince Rupert by Sunday.
June 29, 21 Km today up Grenville Channel. Made friends with an Orca whale.
June 28, After 7 hrs and 34 Km, we are camping at the south entrance to Grenville Channel. Sunny day.
June 27, Up at 3:15 am and on the water by 4:45.Covered 25 Km in 5.5 hrs. Camping at top of Princess Royal Island.
June 26, Down day in Butedale. Population: 1. Rest day and opportunity to repair dry suit.
June 25, 27 Km further up Graham Reach today. Misty rain all day.
June 24, Kayaked 45 North of Klemtu. Camping at Graham Reach. No whales today.
June 23, After 7 hours of paddling, we covered 45 Km. Camping in Klemtu and attending a community dinner.
June 22, 6.5 hrs paddling. Covered 36 Km. Rain, fog, but no wind. Camping at Blair Inlet at mouth of Seaforth Channel. Still raining.
June 20 and 21, Two days in Shearwater/Bella Bella to retrieve next box of supplies and repair our Garmin. Thanks to the Shearwater Lodge, MEC and Pacific Coastal for their help. On the water again June 22.
June 19, Made it to Bella Bella, 25 Kms down today. Staying at a fishing lodge for a day off after 12 days out. Shower, laundry, beer and pizza (and WiFi)
June 18, Camping at entrance to Lama Passage. 28 Km today. Whales in distance. Plan for Bella Bella tomorrow. Monday off. Yea.
June 17, Beautiful day. Kayaked 45 km in about 7.5 hours. Camping 5 Km north of Namu. Big Day. Dolphins, cannery ghost town, Heitsuk NGO camp. Finished on Cclamshell beach.
June 16, late start to day. Paddled 31 Km today. Camping at Fish Egg Inlet, just south of Blair Island :-). Rained all night and all day. Tomorrow up Fitz Hough Sound.
June 15 - Another 20 K today. Camping on open beach. Next up is Fitz Hough Sound. Bye to the ocean for now.
June 14 - up at 3:45. Paddled for 4.5 hour. We are all the way around Cape Caution. She was kind to us. Camping at Red Sand Beach.
June 13 - up at 3:45 am. Paddled 20K of exposed coast. Camping at north end of Burnett Bay
June 12 - Another day of winds so another day at Skull Cove; back on the water tomorrow; fish plentiful
June 11 - Spending day at Skull Cove, winds high so day of rest
June 10 - Landed in Skull Cove. On Track. Good Day. Escort by John and Matt ending. Big thanks for support across the Channel
June 9 - landed at Shelter Bay on Mainland - sunny, smooth crossing in 4 hours
June 8 2016 - Launch from Port Hardy - landed at God's Pocket, Hurst Island
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| Doc Hits aqRough Patch |
July 5, Day of errands in Prince Rupert - maps, supplies, course reviews. Launch next leg tomorrow.
July 4, 40 Km today, saw tonnes of eagles and arrived in Prince Rupert. Tomorrow will pick up food drop and Wednesday start our last leg to Alaska. Big thanks for WestJet for help with Rick Rasmussen's flight and Lexie for the PR hospitality..
July 3, 30 Km today in wind, rain, fog and a few minutes of sun. Camping on McMicking Island. 40 Km south of Prince Rupert.
July 2, High winds in Hecate Strait today so taking a weather day.
July 1, Happy Canada Day! 30 Km today to almost finish off the chanenel. Rain, wind and waves. Likely in Prince Rupert on Monday.
June 30, Another 30 Km up Grenville Channel (known as the "ditch"). No whales today. Hoping to be in Prince Rupert by Sunday.
June 29, 21 Km today up Grenville Channel. Made friends with an Orca whale.
June 28, After 7 hrs and 34 Km, we are camping at the south entrance to Grenville Channel. Sunny day.
June 27, Up at 3:15 am and on the water by 4:45.Covered 25 Km in 5.5 hrs. Camping at top of Princess Royal Island.
June 26, Down day in Butedale. Population: 1. Rest day and opportunity to repair dry suit.
June 25, 27 Km further up Graham Reach today. Misty rain all day.
June 24, Kayaked 45 North of Klemtu. Camping at Graham Reach. No whales today.
June 23, After 7 hours of paddling, we covered 45 Km. Camping in Klemtu and attending a community dinner.
June 22, 6.5 hrs paddling. Covered 36 Km. Rain, fog, but no wind. Camping at Blair Inlet at mouth of Seaforth Channel. Still raining.
June 20 and 21, Two days in Shearwater/Bella Bella to retrieve next box of supplies and repair our Garmin. Thanks to the Shearwater Lodge, MEC and Pacific Coastal for their help. On the water again June 22.
June 19, Made it to Bella Bella, 25 Kms down today. Staying at a fishing lodge for a day off after 12 days out. Shower, laundry, beer and pizza (and WiFi)
June 18, Camping at entrance to Lama Passage. 28 Km today. Whales in distance. Plan for Bella Bella tomorrow. Monday off. Yea.
June 17, Beautiful day. Kayaked 45 km in about 7.5 hours. Camping 5 Km north of Namu. Big Day. Dolphins, cannery ghost town, Heitsuk NGO camp. Finished on Cclamshell beach.
June 16, late start to day. Paddled 31 Km today. Camping at Fish Egg Inlet, just south of Blair Island :-). Rained all night and all day. Tomorrow up Fitz Hough Sound.
June 15 - Another 20 K today. Camping on open beach. Next up is Fitz Hough Sound. Bye to the ocean for now.
June 14 - up at 3:45. Paddled for 4.5 hour. We are all the way around Cape Caution. She was kind to us. Camping at Red Sand Beach.
June 13 - up at 3:45 am. Paddled 20K of exposed coast. Camping at north end of Burnett Bay
June 12 - Another day of winds so another day at Skull Cove; back on the water tomorrow; fish plentiful
June 11 - Spending day at Skull Cove, winds high so day of rest
June 10 - Landed in Skull Cove. On Track. Good Day. Escort by John and Matt ending. Big thanks for support across the Channel
June 9 - landed at Shelter Bay on Mainland - sunny, smooth crossing in 4 hours
June 8 2016 - Launch from Port Hardy - landed at God's Pocket, Hurst Island
Friday, 3 June 2016
Dr. Rasmussen, I Presume?
Dr Rasmussen, I Presume?
(This is a verey long entry that your browser may cut off near the end. Just look for a <read more> link near the bottom.) |
How does that saying go? One man's rubbish is another mans “Bloggie Award?” Fear not glum readers with furrowed brows - This entry is about family , so1 you know what that means...The unadulterated truth. Blood is thicker than BS, I say. Even if this so-called brother did fashion a shank from some scrap metal from the prison shop, then when the warden was distracted, cut me for 5 stitches on the finger.All for not passing him the butter fast enough. That was when I was 10. I still bear the scars - my only visible evidence of my 18 years in the “Big House.” But Rasmussen boys don’t hold grudges
Snap!! Did you hear that? That was the sound of me putting my kid gloves on :)
But shortly you will understand and appreciate why with the task at hand I may have no choice but to dredge up potentially embarrassing details of incidents early in life as they may testify as to how our subject may react under pressure. But I urge all readers that while I do bear scars from my youth, my brothers have for the most part grown into fine men - OK as long as you have a neurodegenerative disease that will likely dim your memory of these distant painful incidents.
When Brian first hatched" Paddle For Parkinson's", his Big Adventure to paddle to Alaska up the Inside Passage, my mind raced to uncover his more nefarious motivations. The possibilities were distilled down to two: 1) He sought to wrest the favourite Son crown from my head. 2) It was a depraved attempt replace me as the families unofficial “ Shackleton” given my 11,0000 km bicycle trek 16 years ago across the country.. Without means to prove those allegations, I had no choice and was forced to accept the third. That he was simply a <sound of blogger clearing his throat>nice guy(s) doing an awesome deed.
Someone asked me how much of a part his neurodegenerate brother plays in their motivations. To which I replied, “Well, I would think that unless your weiner dog looks more like a bratwurst, it would be unlikely for you to fund raise for the Society For Plus-Sized Weiner Dogs
Now the kerfuffle - there is a groundswell of potential supporters that might like to donate but are finding a dearth of background info on the boys. Brian seems to think he can remain Clark K0ent-like, replying, “Its not about me.” As a favour to my brother, I have gone ahead and installed myself as his unofficial totally unauthorized Press Secretary. Volunteer for now, we can talk compensation later if there are book deals or an appearance on Ellen. My job requires a rather delicate balancing act. As Brian's brother I am here to unveil his super-hero side, and protect him from the dark forces out there not fond of people who think big. On The other side of the coin are my responsibilities as a quasi-tabloid journalist to dig through his trash and get my readership up beyond my extended family.
Indeed there was a dearth of information about Brian and Spencer. My take was that whether the trek is a polar exploration, or you are paddling the Inside Passage - investors or supporters simply seek some confirmation that they are backing a winner, that when they arrive at the track, they will be greeted by a thoroughbred not a Clydesdale, ie. by Secretariat, not Mr. Ed.
I am thinking the best format maybe to answer my readers questions and allegations head-on..
Lets peel back a few of the layers of the onion that is Dr Rasmussen...The following are concerns that have come across my desk.
Many readers have been questioning Brian's occupation as suitable preparation for an adventure of this magnitude. I can understand their concern as historically expeditions of this order have usually
been undertaken by individuals from the more traditional and culturally accepted occupations such as Cartographer, Trapper, and or Drunken White colonizer
I Said "Bring the Liquid -The Dryer Sheets will Be Useless up Here
I will not dignify his one with an answer but will include t as it is indicative of much of the crap I have to wade through lately. This one comes from Dave in Langley: I don't know about you guys in the OK Valley but the Social Workers I know here on the Lower Mainland are all... well, let's just say they are he type of people that fabric softener was invented for. Know what mean? A bunch of Palmolives. A bun...This One Picks Up The Mauve In The Seat Cushions Better
Most of us would not consider the Ivory Tower world of academia to contain anything remotely resembling adventure, unless you are a Professor of Archaeology, for as we know they all look like Harrison Ford and race around the streets of Bangkok looking for lost cities, while the balance resign themselves to lives of quiet desperation, trying to make a mark in their chosen field, pursuing tenure and fretting over their choice of camper options for their sabbatical (Leather or Naugahyde?_____
If Your Paddling Partner Doesn’t Find You Handy...
I once saw a Social Worker wielding a chain saw - and it scared the dickens outta me. Brian is no Tim “The Toolman” Taylor - he would be the first to admit that. However the latest rumour making the rounds is sure to send a chill up the spine of`every self-respecting handyman out there. The word out of the garage is that Brian's toiletry kit is bigger than his toolbox. I would like to categorically deny that this is a rumour.as we confirmed it this morning with a measurement. Does this mean that Brian places a priority of smelling nice over having the ability to fix his kayak? Possibly.Fear not, we have support systems in place We have set up Brian with a direct satellite line line to his brother John (the craftiest SOB west of the Rockies) Macguyver rules apply. We have are strict rules in place describing an acceptable event: No feelings, just the facts. The following example may help you understand our criteria: The zipper on toiletry kit stuck (OK) 2) How he feels about his son rolling his eyes at him (Not OK) 3) Requests confirmation whether Righty tighty, lefty Goosy is correct (OK). Brian will be given one lifeline. emergency call to John per day.
Did Brian interview Spencer, or did Spencer interview Brian?
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| Artists rendering of Rasmussen family meeting just prior to the troops shipping out for their epic trip west with Mom. I looks As if the boys are pretty pumped for a road trip.Brian seems to be preparing for one of his amateur therapy sessions. Linda, seems to be using up one of her lifelines, pleading to either her maker, or children's services for an emergency intervention |
She sounds amazing!
Indeed, she was and still is amazing
Only His Hairdresser Knows
There are several rumours swirling around regarding the use of appearance enhancing hair products Currently banned under the rules enforced by the governing body, the WEEOMLLCAPGG World Epic Expedition and Other Mid/Late Life Crises Absurd Plans Governing Group. Brian has managed to elude post-trip drug testing every time previously but is his luck running out He refuses to speak to these non issues stating that he simply likes to remain eligible for the ginger class in masters rowing regattasTHe Man, The Myth, The Advil
I have never spent any time in jail. But I ave often found and borrowed metaphors from life in the “Big House”. whether its prison, the Rasmussen minimum security, or nature, the same rules govern,. Its Fight or Flight - and as a rule , Brian chose the latter. Hence Brian possesses an excellent aerobic system which should stand him in good stead for the trek. However there is a reason Brian tended to run. Sadly Brian's genetic “lump of coal" left him poorly armed. He lacked the heavy artillery that his brothers received. This left him ill-prepared for major hostilities. Meaning, he was well suited for minor skirmishes from a distance, (names, spitballs, idle threats) but it became clear he was going to need to develop some alternate skills.
“Hmmm…. Bear spray? or the one about the Pope and the Protestant psychotherapist?
Fortunately for the helping professions, Brian shrewdly decided that a razor sharp sense of humour would help him survive his formative years, and would also serve him well professionally. This well-honed ability to make others laugh may come in handy In the event they come across any Bruins. I'm not making this up! Bears have a basic understanding of humour. Search for yourself if you don't believe me We’ve been working on Brian's routine on facetime. He’s actually quite humorous.
As Brian's unofficial and totally unauthorized publicist I often need to shield him from the worst. Last week I received an email questioning whether Brian had the “spherical units to complete an expedition of this magnitude - given that he was a Lightweight rower in University. The gall!. I replied that as far as I knew, Brian had adequate spherical units and he could no longer make weight so it was a null issue,
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