Monday, 27 January 2014

Think Tank - Blair, You Look Like You Should Sit Down...

SPOILER ALERT!!!  Be forewarned, if you read any further than this line, you will be deemed ineligible to take advantage of opportunities that lie within. Remember, I warned you…

Just a mention of the phrase "think tank" in my presence will elicit an odd reaction from me. My metaphorical sensor alarms will be rung, My Far Side humour node above the prefrontal cortex,  will be activated sensing a comedic opportunity of the roughly grade 10 type, Leaping into action, it secretes sample punchline bubbles that will waft above my head waiting to be selected for a chance at their fifteen minutes of fame.

Why is that? Quite simply, the visual puts  me in stitches. Bow tied academics floating dispatching weighty edicts down the mount.  Maybe I'm being unfair. Maybe the only wear bow ties on Mondays. Or maybe Monday is cardigan day. I shouldn't generalize so much. Should I? Okay, thank you, I will continue to generalize.

I want one. I want my own think tank. My think tank will think about things that matter to me. (and of course, for many, that will mean you too). But folks, this is not your regular Mensa card-carrying ivory tower think tank. This think tank doesn't know it's a think tank! On top of not getting paid to be a think tank, They don't even know they're volunteering to be a think tank. This think tank will meet under the guise of having a few beers with Blair, so he can vent about Parkinson's. I will steer the conversation through various topics current in Parkinson's Disease and will crystallize their thoughts and conclusions to be laid out on the blog.

I get the impression that you're already grasping the brilliance of this setup.My think tank is the real deal. Regular people from all walks of life with unique abilities and skills.  Let me introduce the core of my team:

Shemp Duchevsky - This rising star's background includes many years in the correctional hospitality industry. Shemp is a computer wizard, rising to the top of the cell block and eventually heading the prison library mastering the cutting-edge Commodore 64 system. Took home Millhaven's prisoner of the year award a record nine times.

Bon Creed - Nutritional adviser and occasional court jester. A muttly cross breed of Buzz Lightyear and a modern-day Dudley Doright. A true Renaissance man - at home in Lululemon, spacesuit, or red serge. Oft heard phrase: "Funnier than a clown on fire".

Mira Pex - With her long and sordid history as a Vegas show girl, (and part-time card marker) It's a wonder she's able to be employed north of the 49th. For your personal security, that's all the information I should pass on as  I understand that a certain establishment in Vegas has dispatched the Harding brothers from Vinnie's Mobile Orthopaedic Remediation Services  to "chat" with their "still under contract" Ms Pex.
Oft heard phrase: "Viva L...   ummm, I mean Go Flames!".

I know, I hear you. What is clean-cut Blair doing hanging around individuals of this breed? He's no Rob Ford, is he? No, I' m definitely not. I do believe that everyone deserves a second chance, even Bon Creed. Okay, okay, I'm only telling you this on a need-to-know basis, ok? Bon had a dust-up with a face painting clown at the Calgary Stampede. (Who beats up clowns?) Second chances right?

They have already been meeting and next week I will present part one of the three part series where we look at the recommendations in detail, and provide some tips on how to become the funnest patient do you can possibly be - that one patient, that if they were building a new clinic, they would call the "franchise patient" - the only patient they would allow to wear number 99.

Oh, and yes, the opportunity you've just lost - I was looking to double the size of the think tank to six individuals, but since you have continued to the bottom of this page like a good little blogee, I will need to look elsewhere. Too bad, you would've been great.

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